TJ Church

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Timothy 'TJ' Church
TJ Church.jpg
Age 35
Born December 14, 1982[1]
Warren, Ohio
Residence Niles, Ohio[2]
Occupation Unemployed
Writer, Hobbyist
Web Presences Blog Enfarcement (Wordpress)
Blog Enfarcement (Blogger)
Setting a President
This article was marked as a work-in-progress on November 29th, 2014  and may be incomplete or untidy.

Timothy "TJ" Church is an egotistical amateur erotica writer. Critics consider his writing to be plagued by inconsistent syntax, non-standard conventions, and underdeveloped characterization. His overuse of the ampersand, joining of complementary ideas with slashes, and inclusion of superfluous detail in parentheses are especially peculiar. Despite this, he maintains that his writing is excellent, and that his detractors do not rival his exceptional intelligence[3] He adamantly denies that his work is full of errors, stating that he is "the writer all good editors approve & all others abhor".[4] When presented with constructive criticism, his retorts generally consist of logical fallacies, circular logic and ad hominem attacks.

TJ has been a regular contributor to both the Literotica forums and the sister site Chyoo, a collaborative writing environment for aspiring erotica writers. His refusal to learn from his mistakes and his pugnacious collaboration style have earned him innumerable bans from both sites. As of 2014, he still visits the Literotica forums, where he posts under as many as three immediately identifiable sockpuppet accounts that quickly results in his ridicule.[5]

Personality and interests


I don’t have a clue when the next strike by a terrorist “cell” or anything is (nor do I want to), & I know my next doctor’s appointment isn’t for another two weeks (even if you’re counting it as Monday now, it’s 2 weeks from tomorrow).
—TJ Church, discussing the anniversary of the September 11th attacks

In his writing, TJ has often exhibited a need to include himself in a significant portion of his narrative. Critics argue that this style of writing both detracts from his subject and casts an unnecessary light on himself. TJ often feels that due to his interpersonal struggles, he deserves to be treated differently than others, having often stated he has "lived 3 decades despite diabetes, broken jaw & foot, blocked kidney, & more!"[6] Upon discussing a routine trip to the hospital, TJ once brought up the possibility of naming a section of the hospital after himself to commemorate his perseverance in enduring his various medical conditions.

TJ, on his theoretical presidential campaign

At the very same time, however, he denies the fact that he has diabetes, even though he is prescribed diabetes medication and is a diagnosed diabetic. He proclaims himself to be an "as-yet-unpublished author, & diagnosed-but-denying Type 1 Diabetic".[7]

TJ also holds negligible achievements in high regard, such as watching future MLB pitcher CC Sabathia on a local team before his eventual fame. That article would go on to hypothesize whether a pitch of TJ's, which he named after himself, could have ever been used by Sabathia.

TJ seems to believe that talent alone will carry him to a successful career in writing. In reality, it is incredibly difficult for writers without a large body of pre-existing work to find a job.[citation needed] This trend is exasperated by the evolution of writing as an artform. While the advent of the personal computer allows for anyone to self-publish, this makes it all the more difficult to become noticed.

Lack of sympathy

In many facets of his online presence, TJ has exhibited a lack of sympathy, both towards people he knows and in response to tragic events. A particularly striking example of this came from one of TJ's many Chyoo accounts. Having used a multitude of usernames in the past, and presumably running out of new ones to register, TJ chose "arielcastro".

She looked up at me. "You mean it, Josh?!" she asked. I nodded. "You have connections at State?!" she asked. "With the athletic department, yeah," I said modestly. "You think you could really get me a job there?!" she asked. "Sure!" I said confidently, knowing the staff and students would love her mind and body (respectively). "I'll make you a deal!" she said suddenly. "Name it!" I said, very excited. "If you can get us a dorm room to share next weekend, I'll let you fill the rest of the school year as my boy!" I opened my mouth, before stopping to consider the offer.

— TJ writing as "arielcastro" on CHYOO.[8]</center>

Ariel Castro was, of course, the man responsible for the heinous kidnapping, sexual assault, and imprisonment of three young women in Ohio, the state in which TJ resides. The story of Castro's arrest, subsequent incarceration, and suicide was regularly aired on the news around the time TJ made that Chyoo post.

Between 2002 and 2004, Ariel Castro (July 10, 1960 – September 3, 2013) kidnapped three young women and held them prisoner in the Tremont neighborhood of Cleveland, Ohio. Michelle Knight, Amanda Berry, and Georgina "Gina" DeJesus were held against their will in his house on Seymour Avenue until May 6, 2013, when Berry escaped with her six-year-old daughter and contacted the police. Knight and DeJesus were rescued by responding officers and Castro was arrested within hours.

Ariel Castro kidnappings

Another handle used by TJ was "warrenjeffs", presumably after the fundamentalist cult leader of the same name who is currently serving a life sentence in prison for sexual assault and aggravated sexual assault of children.

This significant lack of self restraint in response to a tragedy is also evident in his blog posts, especially the one regarding September 11th, entitled "FREEDOM - It always gives you your money's worth".

I woke up relatively-early. (I had no appointments, but I had some things I wanted to accomplish over much of last week.) The show I started watching first bored me, but being my father’s son (which may mean nothing to anyone in 49 states), I turned-on “Mike & Mike” on one of the ESPN channels. They were both there, as was a third man I thought might have been one of the channel’s “NFL analysts”. Therefore, I was all set to hear them talk about the upcoming/recently-passed Steelers-Ravens game.

Instead, however, the camera did a close-up on “Greenie” (what Golic often calls Greenberg). As I alluded to earlier in this blog, I literally grew up around sporting venues, so I was prepared to hear him talk about any sport (even some we don’t play in the States). Instead, he went into a long, spoken piece about the events of that day over a dozen years ago.

Needless to say, this upset me. [...]

I sat there, jaw literally dropped, wondering why Greenberg (who I’ve honestly felt was the smarter of the 2) would decide to talk about that for as long as he did, continuing to make that choice each time he paused. I furthermore wondered why everyone in/on that staff would choose to allow him. (Dad’s done a lot on radio & TV, so I know they have “powers that be” telling them if-&-when they can/can’t say things.)

In short, TJ was "upset" by a simple ESPN 9/11 tribute on the anniversary of the attacks to the point of questioning the commentator's intelligence.

Writing style

A Literotica admin discussing TJ's writing style:[9]

...the content isn't even original anymore. I don't mean he's using tired cliches we've seen a few hundred times, I mean he's taking threads someone else wrote (often times as a child to the very same thread) and resubmitting them. The only things that distinguish it are the bland changes to the dialogue, the shortened yet tedious descriptions that he calls style, and the endings - either he truncates the threads or he does the exact opposite of the originals.

TJ appears to possess an above average vocabulary. Whatever advantages this would yield in his writing, however, are thwarted by glaring idiosyncrasies and unoriginality.

Diction, syntax, and conventions

TJ's diction is, at times, highly irregular. Instead of settling on one descriptive word to use, TJ will often choose two. While this practice is not technically incorrect, it is often viewed as a stylistic choice that inhibits the flow of a piece.[10] Further complicating the matter, sometimes the two words he chooses have entirely different connotations. For instance:

While largely-inactive, it has/they have been large sections of my physical & mental existence/concentration for that time. This means whenever I finish it/them, I can promote plans/things on my "back burners", or work/concentrate on things I have yet to even consider.

As the famous phrase goes, the future/2015 could be/get "very interesting".

--TJ, on his plans for 2015

Note the ambiguity and indecisiveness that is conveyed through this stylistic choice. While being undecided between two words may be acceptable on a very judicious basis, a passage like that certainly isn't standard written English.

The usage of "&/or" is prevalent in almost all of TJ's work. Regardless of its place in informal English writing, it is generally discouraged in formal pieces.[11] Should TJ continue to pursue his ambitions and apply for professional writing jobs, he would have to conform to a relatively rigid manual of style.

Characterization and detail

Erotica, by its very nature, is a genre of writing that requires a considerable amount of sensory detail. TJ's critics acknowledge that it is a niche that takes considerable effort to get right. In fact, instructors of writing often warn that a tightly developed plot is crucial. [12] In spite of this fact, TJ's writing has been considered to have significantly underdeveloped plot lines, insufficient or monotonous dialogue, and poorly developed characters. Given that the genre is specifically designed to turn people on, this is a significant flaw. TJ has made few attempts to remedy this problem, with his latest works being similar to his earlier works.

Web presence


If you’re visiting this blog for the first time, do me a favor first, & simply scan a few of the previous posts. If you do (or you’ve read them before), one thing should be painfully obvious: I’ve got problems.

— TJ Church

TJ has maintained a few blogs over the past decade. His first Xanga blog was created in 2003, when he migrated from Angelfire.[13] None of his blogs seem to have cultivated much of an audience.

TJ's earliest blogs are not accessible to the public. The service he published them on, Xanga, transitioned to a pay service in 2013. Subsequently, all unpaid blogs were made private pending payment. [14] A few posts were saved by the Internet Archive, and are located here.

Another blog of TJ's, the "Monkee Maniac" on Blogger, has been deleted and was not archived by the Internet Archive.

He made his latest blog, "Blog Enfarcement," on the Wordpress.com platform following the Xanga transition. It was made private after TJ became recognized on the Kiwi Farms. An archive can be found here. An incredibly similar copy of "Blog Enfarcement" has been run concurrently on the Blogger (blogspot.com) platform.

WrestleZone Forums

A moderator on the WrestleZone forums, a discussion board TJ occasionally visits, renamed his account "Lying Retarded Crybaby Troll Bitch" and set his location to "Under the bridge, peddling my ass". [15] One can deduct his presence is not welcome there.

Literotica / CHYOO and CHYOA

Literotica is an erotic literature website in which authors can upload their stories. CHYOO is a sister site targeting a similar niche, with the key difference that stories can be added onto by members of the community after they are uploaded, and the direction of the story is dictated by the readers' choices. Literotica offers a companion service, a discussion forum, which also includes a subforum for discussion regarding CHYOO. CHYOA is a substitute for CHYOO creates in response to CHYOO's near-collapse and general neglect; with the exception of modernized programming and a new URL, it's exactly the same.

TJ's personality on Literotica and CHYOO has generally been described by his peers as uncooperative at best, and downright belligerent at worst. While regularly claiming that he treats others the way he wishes to be treated, TJ's nefarious activity has included hacking blocked lists, supplying malicious feedback - in the form of both bashing contributions to stories[16] and comments on others' work - making new accounts to circumvent bans, impersonation, and making death threats. [17]

A Literotica forum moderator posted regarding TJ's on-site personality.[18]

The "I only treat others as they treat me" claim is a lie. I personally witnessed one occasion where a user bogged down by real life managed to get a fair bit of work done on site, and decided to alert his contributors on the forum while patting himself on the back. TJChurch proceeded to harass this user and made him realize the small scale of this work. The potential motives I could establish were envy and anger; either TJCurch [sic] was jealous of this user's ability to accomplish something, or was infuriated that his time was wasted reading about this personal victory.

When presented with critique on his work, TJ has been known to claim that the critic is "not reading his threads correctly" and may be "lying out of jealousy." In response to editors that confront him negatively, TJ is "fond of maliciously rating any threads by those users with the lowest possible ratings".[19] These same multiple accounts are then used to give his work high ratings, both to contradict the claims that his work is of low quality as well as to exploit automated site features that revolve around ratings.

A photo of TJ that has been widely circulated and Photoshopped on the Kiwi Farms since his discovery.

As a direct result of his actions on the Literotica forum, he is almost universally disliked there.[20] A TJ Church support thread garnered almost no response, and a separate poll topic resulted in only 3 people voting in favor of TJ Church, including two of his sockpuppets.[21] While the CHYOO community was at one point willing to negotiate terms of his readmission to the site,[22] his accounts are now banned upon creation.[23]

In response to this dislike, TJ began blaming a hacker for all of his misfortune, insisting these actions are the hacker trying to make trouble for him. Admittedly, in 2010 - right after TJ openly threatened to negatively rate anyone who negatively rates him - a hacker did seem to strike him hard, claiming that it had been maliciously rated previous by TJChurch and wanted revenge.[24] Much of his writing on CHYOO was rewritten as "I don't like this thread and I want it deleted." while many of his forum posts were changed to read "I'm a troll." Approximately 12 usernames were hit over the course of the year before the attacks ceased. However, TJChurch insists the hacker is responsible for much more, generally revolving around fake threads meant to besmirch his "reputation for quality" in the eyes of the community. Occasionally the hacker appears on the board using the TJChurch account to insist he's not responsible for any such claims, and the stark contrast between these "fake" threads and the prior actions of the hacker have led many to conclude TJ is just making excuses, as well as one to conclude there is no hacker at all.[25]

In January of 2014, CHYOO's already unstable and antiquated coding finally gave out. The site was forced to restore to a previous version and disable everything except the reading functions, and even they were somewhat stunted. In response, one user created a new version at a separate URL and migrated the stories and subsequently most of the community to this CHYOA. TJ was among these users, and returned to his old habits.[26][27][28] When a new forum was also supplied for CHYOA, TJ was given a very clear deal: If he trolled the new forum as he did the old one, he'd be banished on the spot. In spite of this, his very first activity was to create a forum topic insisting that the problems continued and that its identity was everyone else,[29] resulting in an immediate forum banishment. In the aftermath, his malice towards users and the site became more abundant, limiting his abilities even further until he was banished from the site completely. TJ was forced to retreat back to the old CHYOO once some of its features were re-enabled, but he's had no luck recovering due to the exodus of the community and the vigilant moderators.

While his refusal to improve arguably crosses the line into belligerence, TJ at times seems desperate for acceptance. Following his forum banishment from CHYOA, he began to make story contributions demanding users ask the staff to allow him back on the forums with a staff position.[30][31] Since his banishment from all of CHYOA, he's sent users emails demanding they work to lift his banishment while claiming he can't get his work approved on the original CHYOO because everyone's using CHYOA.[32] His Google+ profile shows he's added several CHYOA users to his circle, including one person whose YouTube and Google+ username is identical to a Literotica member's but is otherwise unrelated.

Kiwi Farms

A thread[33] on TJ Church was initially posted to the Kiwi Farms, then the CWCki Forums, on July 12, 2014. The first post was a very long overview of TJ's activity on various websites. The prose of the thread was simply asking if TJ was a Lolcow, and if the thread should exist. While a moderator did approve the thread, discussion never progressed.

In total, there were 5 posts made by two users. The last post was by the thread creator on July 12th, 2014. On September 18th, a suspicious post was made by the user Cowlick.

As has been expressed, you cannot be stopped from making a Tumblr. However, if you have done so, I would suggest making it clear what items are by him& what items are simply about him by others... Someone with this size of an ego will probably otherwise respond by either (mistakenly) thanking you for your tribute, or seeing it is closed.

After inquiry, Cowlick accidentally admitted his true identity, having previously stated that he was merely an acquaintance of TJ.

Half-&-half; I am, but have yet to see anyone on this thread besides myself that is near my equal. If they were, they'd be writing about things & people much more worth it/interesting than me, not creating pages devoted to me & what I think/do/write, etc.

This development is especially striking since Cowlick, when he thought he was anonymous, admitted to being egotistical.

Since Cowlick's identity was revealed, the once small thread has grown to over 130 pages. TJ's reaction has been one of desperation, having argued for the thread's closure on the grounds of his superior intelligence.[34]

Gallery of TJ's work

You start at the top of her breasts, drawing a line across them with your output. You then draw yet another line down the middle of her body, as if something in you is wanting to check her anatomical symmetry. Assuring the both of you this is not the plan, you then turn wildly, finishing your release over what began the night as the beautiful dress that covered her fantastic body.

Suddenly, you hear a gasp from nearby. Finally finished, you turn to see Emma raising her own upper body from the couch, mouth dropped wide-open as she sees what you have done to her clothing.

--excerpt from "Anywhere but There" by R0MANH0LIDAY (TJ Church) on CHYOA[35]



  1. https://web.archive.org/web/20100124091540/http://tjchurch.xanga.com/
  2. https://web.archive.org/web/20110411185421/http://mijacogeo2001.xanga.com/
  3. TJChurch Thread, bragging about intelligence
  4. [archive]
  5. [archive]
  6. [archive]
  7. https://plus.google.com/104078692709290351911/about
  8. [archive]
  9. [archive]
  10. http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/34130/is-it-ok-to-use-a-forward-slash-between-words-other-than-the-obvious-and-or
  11. http://www.slaw.ca/2011/07/27/grammar-legal-writing/
  12. [archive]|Writers' Toolbox: Erotica: Plot is a Necessary Tool
  13. https://web.archive.org/web/20041129232617/http://www.angelfire.com/oh4/Wildmanspage/ | Snapshot of TJ's Angelfire page from the Internet Archive
  14. http://help.xanga.com/topic/what-happened-to-my-blog-1
  15. [archive]
  16. http://imagizer.imageshack.us/a/img12/4990/ixu4.jpg
  17. [archive]
  18. TJChurch Thread, admin on TJ
  19. http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=46966870&postcount=11
  20. Overall approval of TJChurch as a member: 22.73%
  21. Supportive of TJChurch - Literotica
  22. "Let's discuss a deal..." - Literotica
  23. The Reasons for the Many Banishments of TJChurch
  24. http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=40604048&postcount=25
  25. http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=44240566&postcount=15
  26. http://i.imgur.com/ETK294F.png
  27. http://forum.chyoa.com/attachments/malicious-thread-5-png.4/
  28. http://forum.chyoa.com/attachments/malicious-thread-6-png.5/
  29. http://forum.chyoa.com/threads/lets-do-this.3/
  30. http://forum.chyoa.com/attachments/malicious-thread-4-png.2/
  31. http://forum.chyoa.com/attachments/malicious-thread-4a-png.3/
  32. http://forum.chyoa.com/threads/poor-timmy-cries-again.62/
  33. TJChurch on the Kiwi Farms
  34. TJChuch thread, asking for its closure
  35. [archive]