KingCobraJFS

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KingCobraJFS
KingCobraJFS.png
Born Josh Saunders
March 26th, 1991
Valley City, ND
Web Presences Youtube
Subreddit
TuneCore
This article was marked as a work-in-progress and may be incomplete or untidy.


"You don't fuck peanut butter ya eat it"
—KingCobraJFS


Josh Saunders is a balding autistic goth who believes he's got the voice of an angel and the guitar shredding skills comparable to the devil himself. He's completely delusional, smokes pounds of tobacco a week, drinks regularly and blames all of his terrible choices and problems on Aspergers on YouTube. He believes he is capable of performing black magic and believes he can conjure thunderstorms at will. He was even special enough to have a full length documentary filmed and edited by trapped who is also known for his work with Million Dollar Extreme.

He is assumed to have been born and raised in Valley City, North Dakota before moving to Casper, Wymong, where he attended County High School. He is bullied a lot because of his Aspergers syndrome, and is often accused of being "creepy" for checking out girls. At some point he is on the wrestling team, where he remained on the team long enough to receive a letterman jacket before deciding the sport was "gay", resulting in his departure from the team. He discovers the band Cradle of Filth and begins to identify as a goth. At 18, he gets a tattoo of the "Cool S" everybody drew in elementary school, calling it the symbol of his new religion.


Chapter 1 (Late 2011 - Early 2013)

Beginnings (Late 2011 - Early 2012)

Josh appears on YouTube under the name "gothickingcobra52". (Current Active Archive which include PeachMonster666 A fake troll Josh created to Troll himself.) He refers to himself simply as "Gothic King Cobra". Josh has recently graduated high school, and lives with his parents in between stints at the Boxelder Job Corps. He begins to upload videos discussing current events, his beliefs, and his music. He talks much faster than he does in his current videos, and has a middle-parted bowl cut.

Josh gets in his routine of making daily videos while not at job corps, referring to his viewers as "YouTube", and starts to take the shape of the YouTube personality we know today.

Many of of Josh's earlier videos are part of a series titled "Guitar Insight", where he explains his guitar methods and techniques. He also introduces his dummy Shon during this time as a part of his comedy skit series titles "Shon and Saunders".

At some point during this era, Josh has brief stints working at the local Burger King, as well as a pizza restaurant. He has provided minimal detail about these two jobs.

Josh meets his first girlfriend, Stephanie, at job corps. They have their first date at the job corps SAC. He loses his virginity to her in 2 minutes and 46 seconds in the job corps bathroom, which he recorded on his iPod, but lost the video.

Highlights from The Beginnings Saga:

  • The first mention of Josh's chi, when he talks about demonstrating it on one of the other students.
  • The first appearance of Josh's wand crafting.
  • Josh makes a video insisting that he is a real goth and not a mall goth - his first big breakthrough.

Kicked Out of Job Corps Saga (First Half of 2012)

Josh is kicked out of job corps after being caught smoking marijuana. He moves back into his parents house and continue to make videos.

Highlights from the Kicked Out of Job Corps Saga:

  • Gothic King Cobra gets Recognized by www.Metalsucks.Net gaining josh a new audience.
  • Gothic King Cobra (Documentary by trappped, filmed around this era)

Golden Corral Saga (Fall 2012)

Josh gets a job at Wendy's, where his job is to keep the lobby and restrooms clean, and refill the teas (something he struggles with). His parents get him a studio apartment in November of 2012, where he still lives as of January 2017. At this point, his lifestyle becomes much more unhealthy as he begins smoking perpetually, and eating a diet consisting entirely of unhealthy junk food. Stephanie visits him in between her time at job corps.

Josh's friend Chris begins appearing in many videos. When Stephanie is visiting, Josh continues to make hour long YouTube videos while she sits silently on camera. Josh begins to show how poorly he manages his money by spending his Wendy's paychecks immediately on regular visits to Golden Corral.

Golden Corral Saga (Fall 2012) Highlights:

  • Josh takes Stephanie to Golden Corral for her birthday.
  • Josh spends an entire $400+ paycheck on alcohol and energy drinks, which he displays on his bed in a drink combination video.
  • "I got seph taken care of" - Noticing that Josh essentially ignores Stephanie while making YouTube videos, fans suggest that he may not be treating her properly. In response, Josh makes the infamous "I got seph (sic) taken care of" video, in which he cooks Stephanie a Hot Pocket.
  • Hair dye video (originally uploaded as "Pay day", has since been deleted) - Josh is 4 hours late for work because he has instead decided to go buy black hair dye and headphones. His Wendy's manager calls while he is dyeing his hair, and Josh continues the video for 45 more minutes. He goes into work that day with blue skin where he tried to dye his eyebrows and mustache. Reupload here.


Chris Saga (Winter 2012 - Early 2013)

Chris moves into Josh's studio apartment and sleeps on his futon. Since Chris is unemployed, he is in almost all of Josh's videos for several months - usually just in the background playing Grand Theft Auto. Josh grows increasingly agitated by Chris constantly correcting him and interrupting his videos, but does not address it while Chris is present.

Chris gets a job working at Wal-Mart, but is fired after cutting his own hand with a box cutter.

Highlights from The Golden Corral Saga:

  • The "fun fight" video. Josh uploads a video of him chugging a bottle of Peach Schnapps in the early afternoon. Hours later, Chris uploads a video on his own account of he and his brother wrestling a very drunk Josh - who claims to be possessed by his inner cobra demon.
  • After listening to the Ghostbusters theme, Josh decides to investigate his apartment for ghosts.
  • While Josh is with his parents for Thanksgiving, Chris invites his brother and father to Josh's unattended apartment where they upload videos of Chris's father playing Josh's guitar to YouTube without Josh's permission.
  • Josh gets a ticket for driving without a license when Chris lends him his van to pick up a stick of butter. A police cruiser was nearly sideswiped in the path of Josh's erratic driving, and he is pulled over as a result.
  • In the middle of a video, Chris overhears Josh refer to fish as a dairy product and corrects him. Josh is fed up with Chris correcting him, and finally decides to confront him.
  • Using money intended for rent, Josh puts $400 down on a sweet new $500 guitar at Mister Money Pawn Shop. Seen here.
  • Josh's dad Clint becomes aware of the aforementioned spending, and visits Mister Money Pawn Shop in an attempt to get a refund for his sons money. His attempt is unsuccessful, however, and Josh ends up getting a USB piano keyboard and another BC Rich Warlock (destroyed in "Smashing my guitar, 2016)

Beethoven Sub-saga (Winter 2012)

A sub-saga of the Chris Saga. Josh suddenly believes that he could possibly be the reincarnation of the late 18th century German composer Ludwig van Beethoven. Upon hearing Fur Elise (pronounced "fur uh-less-ay"), he attempts to learn the opening melody on guitar, which is still a work in progress as of August 2016.

Highlights of The Beethoven Sub-saga


Chapter 2 (2013 - 2014)

KingCobraJFS Saga (Late 2012 - Early 2013)

In late 2012, Josh's Gothickingcobra52 account is banned due to nudity (he flashed his dick in a video or three), and Josh creates his current account - KingCobraJFS.

After hearing that Josh has allowed Chris to mooch off of him for several months, Josh's dad tells his son to kick Chris out, thus ending the Chris saga, as well as the appearance of Chris in future videos. With Chris gone, Josh begins to upload more videos of himself playing guitar (and occasionally piano).

Citing frustration from dealing with trolls, Josh takes his first (and so far only) significant break from YouTube, lasting a couple of months.

Highlights of The KingCobraJFS Saga

Random Video Saga (Late Spring - Fall 2013)

Josh returns from his short hiatus from YouTube, and begins uploading videos at an alarming rate - averaging 2 to 3 a day. The vast majority of videos uploaded in this period are either titled "Morning video", "Noon video", "After work video", "Night video", or "Random video". Fans had difficulty keeping up with events during this time, because Josh would typically upload at least 3 hours of content daily.

Highlights from The Random Video Saga

Stephanie Saga (Winter 2013 - Spring 2014)

Stephanie graduates from job corps, gets a job at McDonalds, and moves in with Josh. With his girlfriend now living with him, Josh begins to upload fewer videos.

The release of Gothic King Cobra (2014 trappped documentary) brings in new fans.

Josh begins to show signs of balding.

Highlights from The Stephanie Saga

  • Josh is pretty proud that the documentary is done.
  • Josh buys GTA5 which he insists on calling "GTA5 Online".
  • Josh addresses his fans on the issue of uploading fewer videos.
  • Josh dyes his hair green, but shortly changes his mind and goes back to black.
  • Just before Stephanie's move into the apartment, Josh and Chris are drunk at a gas station and somehow end up coming into contact with a pregnant woman, who suggests they tag-team her in exchange for a pack of cigarettes. Josh agrees to have sex with the woman, citing societal pressure to have multiple sexual partners, as well as his own overconfidence. Although this cheating incident prompted their eventual break-up, Stephanie allegedly forgives Josh for this particular act.

Star Spangled Banner Saga (Summer 2014 - Fall 2014)

Josh begins to learn the Star Spangled Banner with the intent of playing it for a 4th of July video. He is unable to learn it in time, but uploads a video of what he was able to play. This piece of music becomes a staple in the King Cobra community, as it is one of the few tunes he ever plays on his guitar. He is still learning how to play the tune as of January 2017.

After Josh denies her request to participate in a threesome, Stephanie cheats on Josh by having anal sex with a mutual friend. Upon learning about the events, Josh "half-jokingly" threatened to rape Stephanie, in an attempt to "be more kinky". That same day, Stephanie moved her things out of the apartment while Josh was at work.

Josh and Stephanie break up on July 4th, 2014.

Note: Most videos including Stephanie were either lost along with the gothickingcobra52 account, or deleted by Josh on his current account.

Josh attempts to play the Star Spangled Banner again on Ventrenn's Day.

Highlights from The Star Spangled Banner Saga:

Low Volume Saga (Winter 2014 - Early 2015)

Josh fucks up something on his camera, so all of his videos have incredibly low volume. This was a hard time to be a cobra fan, since there were many videos that were barely audible even with the volume maximized.

Josh gets a new girlfriend named Judy, who is the mother of several children. They break up very quickly.

Highlights from The Low Volume Saga

Chapter 3 (2015 - Aug 2016)

Shotgun Saga (Spring 2015 - Fall 2015)

Josh buys a side-by-side shotgun, and a sling that he fastens to the gun with guitar strings. Josh starts recording videos on his phone, providing us with much clearer footage. A golden era of content.

While standing outside of Josh's apartment, homeboy Scotty lets off a fart that then gets caught by the wind and is blown directly into Josh's mouth.

Josh gets a new girlfriend named Ami, and they break up in one day. (Note: videos with Ami have been deleted)

Highlights from The Shotgun Saga:

Bailey Saga (Winter 2015 - Early 2016)

Josh gets a new camera delivered to him by a fan, giving us the first 480p King Cobra videos ever. The Sandbar Lounge closes.

Sid "Homeboy Scotty" Hackman enters the King Cobra storyline. Scotty has promised Josh that he will hook him up with a black-haired, green-eyed goth babe named Bailey, who also plays guitar and listens to cradle of filth. However, any time plans are made for the two to meet, Bailey always cancels due to some last minute emergency (dog run over, etc.) After multiple occasions, fans begin to question Scotty's truthfulness. In an attempt to escape responsibility for his lies, Scotty tells Josh that Bailey has changed her phone number to avoid telemarketers, so it is now impossible to reach her. After about 6 months, Josh gives up on meeting Bailey.

Note: Nearly all videos mentioning Bailey have since been deleted, so this storyline will be difficult for newcomers to follow.

Highlights from The Bailey Saga:

Homeboy Scotty Saga (Winter/Spring 2016)

My Homeboy Scotty (MHBS) becomes a frequent topic of discussion in Josh's videos, and among his fans in the comments section. Scotty begins regularly appearing in videos. Fans discover that Scotty has been arrested for stabbing someone in Josh's apartment, then lying to the police about the events.

Josh reaches 2000 subscribers, and begins to see a large increase in fans. He begins to receive calls from fans while at Wendy's, and other places that he visits.

Josh begins a new trend of attempting eating/drinking "challenges", which typically include eating a bunch of snack foods and washing them down with energy drinks.

Josh gets a new tattoo of a giant cobra with a pentagram on its head emerging from a cannabis leaf.

Highlights from The Homeboy Scotty Saga

Willows of Sorrow Saga (Spring 2016)

Josh begins working on his 7th album, Willows of Sarrow (later corrected to Willows of Sorrow).

Josh becomes an avid supporter of Bernie Sanders, solely because he wants to legalize marijuana, which Josh believes to cure cancer.

After mixing up the sweet and unsweet teas at Wendy's multiple times, Josh has been cut down to a single 2 - 4 hour shift a week. Josh decides to go job hunting but doesn't have any success.

Josh begins uploading more outdoor videos after high demand from his fans.

Highlights from The Willows of Sorrow Saga:

Izzy Saga (Summer 2016)

Having not learned his lesson from the Bailey incident, Josh has been led to believe by Homeboy Scotty that he will be going on a date with a girl named Izzy - who is the roommate of Scotty's fuckbuddy/girlfriend. This reverses Josh's plan of "going asexual", and he becomes very excited about the date. Predictably, Scotty comes up with a last-minute excuse and the date does not happen.

Josh smashes his BC Rich Warlock guitar for seemingly no reason.

A fan makes and sells a limited run of King Cobra pins, and gives Josh a cut of the profit. Josh immediately spends his share on a $150 tobacco pipe.

Josh uploads his longest video yet, at just over three hours.

Josh reaches 3000 subscribers.

Note: Most videos detailing the date with Izzy have been deleted.

Highlights from The Izzy Saga:

Sex Doll Saga (Late Summer 2016)

In the wake of the Izzy incident, Josh becomes frustrated with his inability to find a girlfriend - but does not attribute any of this to Scotty. Josh begins to contemplate getting a $2000+ sex doll, and starts a GoFundMe in hopes of raising the required funds. The GoFundMe page is later deleted after fans question his real intentions.

Josh posts a video entitled "Rest in Peace Scotty Moore guitarist for Elvis". Fans assume that Homeboy Scotty has died, and Josh posts a video to show that Scotty is still alive and well.

Josh, Scotty, and another friend visit the carnival, but don't have enough money to ride any of the rides.

Josh begins eating a ton of onions and rubbing them on his head, believing it will cause his hair to grow back.

On August 25th, 2016, Josh is fired from Wendy's after a YouTube troll by the name "Castellus Zemi" calls the Wendy's corporate office with complaints about Josh's videos.

Highlights from The Sex Doll Saga:

Chapter 4 (Sep 2016 - Present)

Post-Wendy's Saga (Fall 2016)

Although he was fired from his job at Wendy's, Josh tells the fans that he is viewing the incident as an opportunity to better himself and start a new chapter in his life. He visits a hiring agency to aid him in finding a new job. Josh goes to turn in his uniform to his previous employer, and is gifted a Wendy's hoodie and a free soft drink.

Josh becomes self-concious about the cleanliness of his apartment, and makes it a point to mention in every video how clean he keeps his place for a bachelor. He also goes out of his way to talk about how he's cleaned his dishes in his cooking videos, and how his fingernails would not be as dirty as they are if he were working in a restaurant.

Josh starts dipping for some reason.

The cobra fan base comes together to send Josh an assortment of gifts in hopes of encouraging him in a time of need. Upon receiving a pocket pussy, Josh becomes irritated and destroys the item on camera (after having already used it), claiming that he is asexual once again. Just hours afterwards, Josh deletes the aforementioned video and claims to have seen the error of his ways. He attempts to repair the pocket pussy, and congers a thunderstorm in Casper in honor of the fan who sent him the package.

Josh starts another GoFundMe for his sex doll, but it is promptly flagged and deleted a few hours later.

The fans are promised a "Wendy's T-Rex Burger Challenge" after Josh reaches 4000 subscribers (has well over 4000 subscribers at the time of this entry, the challenge has still not happened).

On September 20th, The Cobra Lair (Josh's apartment) underwent an inspection by his landlord. Josh spends many weeks leading up to the inspection preparing, and reassuring his viewers that he will pass with ease. He ultimately passes the inspection, but the landlord makes comments about his sink being "disgusting" and suggests easing off the tobacco use. Josh then does an unboxing with $80 worth of pipe tobacco to celebrate.

In response to an all-time high level of fan support, Josh begins interacting with the Cobra community to an extent never seen since beginning his YouTube career. This includes semi-regular voice chats on a discord server, and videos documenting the events.

The troll that complained to Wendy's about Josh's behavior becomes widely-known to the Cobra community as "The Fat Fuck From Kentucky" (hereafter referred to as "TFFFK"), as this is typically the moniker Josh uses when describing him in videos. Aside from his involvement with Josh's firing, TFFFK is an otherwise unpopular YouTube user who is struggling to attract viewers to his channel. Because of this, he begins uploading regular videos talking about the Wendy's firing incident, and the resulting (negative) attention he has received. TFFFK claims to be receiving death threats from a "cult" of Josh's followers.

Clint Saunders (Josh's dad) sets up Josh with a job counselor. Aside from saying it is going well, Josh has discussed very little about the events.

Clint Saunders tells Josh he needs to wash his clothing more. He also makes a comment on Josh's Facebook wall concerning the destruction of his two electric guitars. In response, Josh blocks his dad from viewing his Facebook.

Josh decides to vote for Donald Trump after hearing about a video where Hillary Clinton said she doesn't support the legalization of marijuana.

Highlights from The Post-Wendy's Saga:

  • Josh responds to the troll who contacted his employer.
  • Josh cooks a "veggie burger", containing burger meat, an egg, fried broccoli, fried lettuce, and a ton of hot sauce - all while coughing uncontrollably due to his intake of hot sauce fumes.
  • "I'm giveng up on sex and companionship" - Josh tells the fans that he has decided to "go asexual" once again, and destroys a pocket pussy with a set of meat shears (but clarifies that he will not destroy it with his dick)
  • Josh cleans his bathroom and makes a burger.
  • Josh finally receives the "Jesus is a cunt" shirt. He's very excited.
  • The B.C. Rich Warlock guitar Josh got in junior high is smashed on camera for no reason. (video deleted, reupload found here)

Entitlement Saga (Late Fall/Early Winter 2016)

Three months since being fired from Wendy's, Josh continues his unemployed lifestyle by smoking cigarette butts picked up around town and waiting for his job coach to find a position for him. Josh begins hanging out more frequently with his 70 year old friend Steve (also known as Scrapper Steve), occasionally doing odd jobs around town at Steve's discretion.

The biographical crime-drama film King Cobra is released, and Josh is convinced that the movie is an attempt by his trolls to make him look gay. He tries to start the hashtag #FuckFranco, due to his belief that James Franco has become one of his biggest trolls. Josh later discovers the film is not related to him.

Josh makes a "new" halloween costume that looks exactly like his costume from years prior.

A fan sends Josh two tickets to an Insane Clown Posse show in Casper. Josh attends with Homeboy Scotty, and enjoys the concert. A Juggalette attempts to dance with Josh, but he mistakenly believes that she is just trying to pass through the crowd, and politely moves out of her way.

Josh decides to vote for Gary Johnson on the day of the election, going back on his previous decision to vote for Donald Trump (because he wants to legalize weed).

Josh receives a $1000 sex doll from a fan. He claims that while it is not the exact sex doll he wanted, he is taking the gesture as a compliment. Less than 24 hours later, Josh goes to Facebook to claim that a theif broke into his apartment, and stole only his sex doll . To make his story even less believable, Josh later claims that the Casper police found his sex doll destroyed in the back of a meth-addict's car (who was allegedly trying to get scrap metal out of it). A few hours later, Josh comes clean and admits that he destroyed the sex doll because he got angry after ripping its vagina during use. However, he does not accept responsibility for his acts, and instead blames the sex doll's poor quality and poor shipping.

Finally landing an interview at an undisclosed fast food restaurant, Josh "dresses up" for the occasion by wearing a collared shirt, cargo pants, and the usual bandana - but around his neck. His glasses break before the interview and he tapes them together with a giant piece of black electrical tape.

Josh's parents force him to go on vacation with them over the week of Thanksgiving, likely because they are concerned about his rapidly descending lifestyle and are using the opportunity to keep an eye on him. They purchase a new guitar for Josh during this time.

Just after returning from the Thanksgiving vacation, Homeboy Scotty reports that Josh's computer is no longer functioning. Josh had previously cracked the screen after "tapping" it due to anger over not being able to turn off his alarm - so it is likely that he further destroyed the computer. (Update: Josh admits on Facebook that he did indeed punch his computer.)

A video is uploaded with no audio, leading fans to believe Josh's computer is officially out of commission. Following several days of silence, Josh figures out how to upload videos from his phone, which he begins to do at an alarming rate. At the end of his sixth year on YouTube, Josh discovers that he can record from his phone in landscape mode, but he often begin his recordings in portrait mode, resulting in sideways videos.

Josh reveals that the title of his eighth album will be "Waiting", but specifies that this does not share any ties to the 2005 comedy film "Waiting...". Much like his previous albums, Josh confirms that a large portion of "Waiting" will be made up of songs that have appeared on prior albums.

The $150 pipe Josh purchased earlier in the year is broken.

Highlights from The Entitlement Saga:

Road Trip Saga (Christmas 2016 - Early 2017)

Presumably received as a Christmas gift, Josh reveals that the computer he broke in a fit of anger has been replaced by a brand new iMac. He struggles to get Garage Band set up on his new machine.

Along with his family, Josh goes on a road trip to Arizona for the holidays. During this time, he posts multiple video updates per day, lasting just a few minutes each. While on the roadtrip, Josh uses black sharpie as eyeliner.

Josh returns from the family trip, and seems to be much more coherent and lively after 10+ days living a normal lifestyle with his family. Since he can't successfully transfer data from his old iMac, Josh punches and kicks it, leaving him with a bloody knuckle and an entirely broken outer screen.

Highlights from The Road Trip Saga:


Sex Doll Saga (Late Winter 2017)

Sent as a gift from a fan, Josh receives a miniature version of the sex doll that he has been wanting to purchase from reallovesexdolls.com since Summer of 2016. Unlike the last sex doll sent to him, Josh approves of its quality, and therefore decides to keep it. This results in a couple of strange "skit" videos in which Josh acts as a ventriloquist, acting out a few scenes with his new sex doll (named "Felicia") and his dummy, Shon.

Chapter 5 (Jan 24 - Present)

The Death/Rebirth of KingCobraJFS and The Second Serpent Saga (Feburary 2017)

In the week leading up to February 25th, Josh struggled with video uploads. After multiple attempts to record a video for Youtube and stating that Youtube can't read his files, Josh tried posting a video on Facebook. Due to a lack of audio, Josh deletes the video and says he gives up on making videos. Josh takes out his frustration on his Youtube channel by deleting all of his videos. While Josh reassures fans that he will upload new videos when he figures out how to, the future of the cobra nation remains uncertain.

In the week leading up to February 25th, Josh begins to have issues uploading videos to YouTube. He often complains about PhotoBooth freezing, which causes the audio and video to be out of sync. After a few more mishaps (including a lengthy video in which the audio was a one second clip looped continuously), every video from Josh's channel suddenly vanishes. Josh then goes to Facebook to claim that he is done with YouTube, citing his difficulties with uploading. Days later, Josh successfully uploads a video to his YouTube channel explaining the situation, and promises to treat this event as a "rebirth" of his channel.

Because of the sudden and bizarre nature of the aforementioned events, fans begin to speculate the true meaning behind Josh's removal of ~4 years of videos. This leads fans to notice that since "restarting" the channel, Josh has made no mention of his sex doll - as if none of it ever happened. This suggests that there may have been an intervention by Clint Saunders, or perhaps other outside influences.

Josh provides an update on his job search - confirming that over six months later, he has had a total of one job interview.

Highlights from The Rebirth:

  • Josh's return (February 25th, 2017)
  • "Reflecting on some irony" KingCobraJFS has absolutely no idea what irony means and he's walking around town in the middle of the night rambling like a homeless schizophrenic about the number 4 and how he used his magical powers to help his high school crush win a bikini photo contest.

The Second Serpent

KingKobraJFS begins posting videos.. The LiquidCrhis of KingCobraJFS.

Archives

  • Playlist of KingCobraJFS HERE [Also contains beebee890 archive available to view in the US without a VPN. Potentially has hidden playlists/archives of other retards]

Fan Made Content/Edits

Gothic King Cobra "Time" unofficial video

To Be Organized

  • A highly edited version of the infamous jack off video Josh posted to troll the trolls. It has been said the original still exists but not online. Instead backed up using local methods. https://vimeo.com/61045686