John Flynt's Resume
A rather surprising and indeed, fascinating find by the Kiwi Farms, John Flynt's Resume, which appears to date back to around the time returned to Ole Miss after the failure of Socially Unconscious in the Millsaps Newspaper, is one of the most unique bits of insight into the mind and means of Brianna Wu. The Resume itself - a five-page mess of a document which heavily embellishes John Flynt's achievements with outright lies and which is yet one more part of a clear pattern of behavior by him, would be a centerpiece of analyzing many of the claims that Brianna Wu claims to have. It also reveals a number of surprising revelations, including that Flynt himself used to work for Trent Lott, a senator notorious for his support of segregation.
The resume itself is notable for several reasons - almost everything in it uses gratuitous amount of visual enhancement, like an early-90s webpage, or indeed, the world document for Revolution 60. The file itself, which was a PDF capture of a web-page, was ripped using the Wayback Machine. In addition to being extremely poorly formated, the Resume is notable for having an audio component - for reasons unclear, and though it was not maintained by the Wayback Machine's archiving of it, a James Bond MP3 of "Bond 77" was apparently scripted to play in the background of the webpage. Those interested in the song can hear it here.
The following will display image rips of the original Resume, as well as give a page-by-page breakdown of each, as well as any unusual information, discrepancies, or curiosities on each page.
John Flynt's resume is notable for being in full color and featuring a gradient background - quite an expensive expenditure in 2001, when this came out. The tiny text resembling "code" on the front and back cover is a source information of a Socially Unconscious voice-reading script web document, which appears to be from the Election Eve era of John's company. This is clearly visible in caps within the text, along with names of the various characters (Holiday, Minuete, etc) and scene directions. A cover page of this sort would be seen as openly gaudy by many companies, if not openly boastful or attempting to compensate for a lack of actual skills.
It's curious to note that all of Flynt's relevant contact information is on this page. Remember this for the pages to follow.
Impossibly, page two has even less than page one. Presumably, this is because it was intended to be a back cover. It could be omitted entirely without losing anything, and carries absolutely nothing of substance.
The first page with actual content, and likewise the first page with some rather bizarre things to cover all its own. The "Just the Facts" section is all information that would have been rolled onto the cover sheet of any other resume. None of this is important enough to warrant specific attention given to it. Likewise, the "Frequently Asked Questions" shouldn't be in any resume at all, especially considering each and every one of those questions would otherwise be covered through a company's standard application process.
This is the first page that actually brings up Socially Unconscious Productions, and it dominates the bottom half of the page. It's also the location of the first batch of major lies in this resume. In this section, Flynt claims that Socially Unconscious was syndicated to other newspapers - the same claim made in the Election Eve sales pitch. Socially Unconsious was never syndicated to anything, having run less than a dozens strips before being removed from the Millsaps Purple and White due to public backlash. The section goes on to claim that Socially Unconscious Productions had spent over $150,000 to patent unique animation techniques - another thing disproven in our article about Flynt's failed animation studio and that a movie was in the works (ditto).
The side-text, though very hard to read, gives an even more unusual account:
A rare color reprint from the January 2001 issue of Laugh Factory, and only second time in the magazine's illustrious 30-year history they reprinted as a comic strip service. The following is from E1x11, "The Minuete."—John Flynt's Resume, Page 3
This is a very interesting little detail that Brianna Wu claims here, because there was a Laugh Factory magazine. The magazine itself was launched by Jamie Masada in 1983, and was mostly a joke magazine, featuring content by some of comedy's greats, including Tim Allen, Denis Leary, George Carlin, Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong, just to name a few. The magazine was relaunched in 1994, only to end in 1996.
There is no way in hell that any of John Walker Flynt's comics got into this magazine. The magazine itself charged as much as $13,000 for a single-page black-and-white advertisement, and with good reason - the magazine's writers included some of the best comedians in the business and some very high-profile clientele during its run. Additionally, it was headquartered in California - quite some distance away from Mississippi to say the least. Further, the magazine lasted only a few years - not thirty. One has to wonder why Flynt lied so openly or flagrantly in this section, but a closer analysis quickly yields the truth: This resume dates back to around 2000, when search engines were much weaker and lies harder to prove. Laugh Factory, at the time, was relatively obscure - indeed, Google searches now yield more about the accomplishments of its creator, Jamie Masada, than it does about the magazine itself. It's very clear, that, given the fact that so much of the rest of this-sub-section of the resume relies on other lies Flynt told (and so much of this matching up with the aforementioned Election Eve promo), he added this section to the resume in the hopes of landing some well-needed clout. Unfortunately for John Flynt, the quality of his work (or rather the lack thereof) rather speaks for itself.
This page demands discussion of its design, because it's fundamentally badly-designed. As a Resume, this page is loaded with way too much background - it's distracting and comes across as trying entirely too hard. Two completely separate colored margins, with the right one having no reason even being there except for presumed "style" points. The random quote on the right margin, likewise, is baffling and seems to serve no point, again harkening to the world document from Revolution 60.
The reports of John Flynt's credentials, however, are the most fascinating thing on display here, more so than even the bizarrely-capitalized objective header and unusual phrasing of this page. "Computer skills," for example, is a completely generic accomplishment and tells a would-be employer nothing about what it is that John Flynt may or may not know about computers. Things become stranger still, however, when the bulk of this page's first segment is - again - a retread of the third page's spiel about Syndicating Socially Unconscious (which never happened), spending $150,000 to have it made into a movie (ditto), and working for Trent Lott's office (which Flynt actually did).
Below this, Flynt brings up his schooling - specifically his time at Millsaps and Ole Miss, respectively, which are areas that by all accounts, are terrible ones. For the uninitiated, John Flynt attended Ole Miss in 1996 through 1998, attending a course focused on Engineering and ultimately dropped out. This was followed by Flynt studying business administration at Millsaps. Flynt dropped out of both courses, and school transcripts reveal that John Walker Flynt did not graduate from either school.
In this resume, Flynt does not discuss his major for Ole Miss, simply that he studied "everything from Japanese to Chemistry." For Millsaps, he claims to have a major in marketing and finance. Key to all of these is that Flynt seems to have no pattern behind the skills he claims to possess. The statement that his "eclectic mix of skills" comes from his being goal-oriented makes absolutely no sense, as one of these statements does not support the other. Flynt's cramming on seemingly-random skills with no context seems like he's trying to pad this resume out. Employers do check on potential employees' credentials, so it is unclear who Flynt was trying to fool with all of this.
Flynt goes on to discuss his skills with digital media but doesn't state what these skill are or how he's applied them. Rather, it's just a list of various areas where he's worked, with no details given - something true also of the technical skills section that follows, wherein he gives vague examples but doesn't talk about what he did, what that may have involved, what equipment he used, etc.
Bafflingly, he ends this introductory sequence by attempting to tell us what sets him apart from other candidates. In this, fittingly enough (given how much he's lied already in just the last page and a half), he fails to say anything that wouldn't fall under the "I majored in business" umbrella and proceeds to add almost a paragraph on his experience without giving us any particularly useful information. This cements in employers the (startlingly true, given what we know) belief that John Walker Flynt has no real academic achievements to speak of.
The final page of this shockingly lackluster resume centers upon John Walker Flynt's surprisingly minimal academic experience and claimed work experience.
Once again, we have a pointless border that takes up a third of the page. The colors have changed as well to a blue/grey scheme that at least looks slightly better than the purple/grey one of the previous page, or the yellow/blue one on the contact info page - but why are these even here to begin with? As was the case for the previous sections, it's too busy and comes across as reaching. For the "business skills" themselves:
- Else School Students are given a most challenging curriculum.
- Within the Business Major, my specialty is Economics.
- Advanced classes put the emphasis on consumer psychology.
- Classes are taught in small groups that solve business problems.
- I plan to continue my study of this challenging language.
Note that many of these read like the descriptions of the courses themselves. Each one also features an image of what appears to be a textbook, presumably because John Walker Flynt wanted to get across that these were, in fact, the courses he took. However, once more, the elaboration leaves more questions than it answers, for all of these are intentionally vague. What did Flynt study in regards to economics? What is his degree of proficiency with Japanese? What did his training for accounting cover? Flynt elaborates on none of these. Any HR department worth its salt would look at this resume and be utterly confused, if they didn't think it was outright trying to pad itself out for a lack of actual accomplishments.
All of this is driven home, however, in the "Experience" section. To Flynt's credit, here his bullet point icons are both punchy and stand out in a good way, and unlike literally every other part of this resume, it's formatted correctly. This said, however, this part of the resume has a number of major things that employers would see as red flags to warrant further investigation or at the very least, caution. In each area, Flynt has a staggeringly short period of time in each item on this list - often only a few months. Some, like the internship, make sense, but the rest of these being so short definitely strike one as odd. The Internship is odd for another reason, since it's specifically for a Senator's office - seemingly here only to brag about it.
Beyond this, Flynt's resume becomes more and more bizarre. He spends much of this section talking about his business skills and experiences, but then lists a bunch of journalism positions that seem to have absolutely nothing to do with his alleged business skills. People do change careers or take jobs to pay bills, to be sure, but most at least try to tailor their skills section of a resume to try to match the needs of a respective employer. In the case of John Walker Flynt's resume, however, it seems almost like he's desperately trying to throw everything at the wall hoping something sticks.
Very curiously, this section of the resume, on its original webpage, featured multiple - and seemingly random - hyperlinks. As the resume itself was pulled from the Wayback Machine, it's impossible to tell where the bulk of these links may have led, save for one, which appears to connect to the Election Eve sales pitch site.
With lies throughout the work, points solely made to bolster how important John Walker Flynt is, needless artistic flauntings, and no consistent formatting whatsover, John Walker Flynt's Resume is practically an ur-example of how not to set up a resume. As a work, it's a great example of Brianna Wu's willingness to lie and her massive ego, all in one swoop. As if to drive this point home, the entire resume has an incredibly patronizing tone, of the sort that is often seen on Wu's Twitter.