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Jace Connors

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Jace William Connors
Jace Semper Fi Knife.jpg
Jace posing with the iconic Semper Fidelis knife.
Age 25
Born October 3rd, 1991
Wolfeboro, NH
Residence North Brookfield, MA, Springfield MA (As of November 2014)
Height 6'1 (Approximate) [note 1]
Web Presences DeagleNation.TV
Tumblr Blog
Twitter
Primary YouTube
Secondary YouTube
DeviantArt
Patreon

Jace "Stryker" Connors (AKA ParkourDude91) is a 23 or 24 year old NEET[1] narcissist[2] suffering from a wide range of bizarre delusions which he broadcasts to the Internet for the sake of validation. He is an unemployed[3], racist, delusional, schizophrenic, alcoholic[4], weaboo, Internet laughingstock who lives with his mom and spends his life playing video games, smoking weed and vlogging, all of which are funded entirely by his mother's income and his welfare[5] benefits[6]. Jace describes himself as a "Retired US Marine" despite having never served in any real-world military. He is obsessed with Parkour, martial arts, and the Desert Eagle handgun, of which he owns a $20 plastic airsoft "replica" that he uses to practice "gun kata." He is the "commander" of a self-professed "nation of gamers" consisting of parkour enthusiasts, stoners, and juggalos known as Deagle Nation. And no, sadly, he is not a troll.

Jace reluctantly became an Internet laughingstock in October of 2012 for his "Internet badass" persona, horribly designed webpage, and controversial YouTube videos, in which he claimed to be an expert on a wide[7] variety[8] of topics he knew nothing about and refused to ever admit he was wrong.

Jace is approximately 6"1[9] and slightly overweight. He sports a goatee, beard, spiked hair and a tan, and has a growing bald spot on the top of his head. To date, he has never been seen without his pair of plastic flame sunglasses which he claims are his "trademark". He is often seen posing with a $13 Chinese-made stainless steel knife with "Semper Fidelis" (latin for "Always Faithful", motto of the US Marines) written on it in Sharpie. In his earlier videos, he would often introduce himself as "P to the ParkourDude91." His speech is punctuated with a faux-hip hop Jadakiss "tahah" chuckle, which he seems to use as a form of punctuation.

Delusions

Jace possesses many delusions about numerous and varied topics:

Martial Arts and Firearms

  • Parkour is a type of martial art[10].
  • Dual-wielding firearms is a very effective method used by elite professionals and soldiers[11].
  • He possesses sufficient knowledge on martial arts and firearms to hold a training seminar.

Religion and World Events

  • You can be forced to join a certain religion by saying certain words or phrases, like an Islamic version of Dragon Shouts in Skyrim. This was made clear from his interactions with Team Gamerfood. (video needed)
  • You can be baptized Catholic over the Internet; after the above debacle, Jace converted himself from atheism to Catholicism after trolls let him know that it was the only way to denounce being a Muslim, partaking in an elaborate Internet baptism set up by these trolls.
  • Believes nearly every instance of violence in the US reported on the news was caused by Iraqi terrorists. These include the Aurora theater shooting[12] and the Sandy Hook shooting[13].
  • Believed the Government Shutdown on Oct 1st 2013 would mark the beginning of anarchy and violent collapse of society, and that he was "one of the few people truly prepared", referencing his imaginary combat skills. In reality, it was a budget issue that mostly affected national parks[14].

The US Military

See also: Military career of Jace Connors

  • Several of the events in Call of Duty games actually happened in real life[15], which the government covered up by claiming they were fictional events in a video game.
  • The Desert Eagle .50 AE handgun is a tactical sidearm used by United States armed forces[16].
  • The Army surplus store "Army Barracks" is literally an Army barracks[17].
  • Claiming you are going to join the Army in the future is "basically the same thing as being a Marine" and deserves the same level of respect.
  • Being a "future Marine" is generally enough to get away with committing crimes. [source? he said it on youtube comments somewhere]
  • Soldiers are issued "Modkits"[18]: little boxes that contain a mod and the tools used to install it. He believes these kits contain items such as carbon fiber barrels, pistol grips, hair triggers, tree grips, and retractable stocks.
  • Soldiers in the army get to choose their own weapons and gear, and are only permitted certain weapons based on their rank, similar to the character progression system in Call of Duty games.
  • Believes that one can become a Navy SEAL by joining the Army or Marines. He also uses the terms Marine, soldier, spec ops/special forces, and (for some reason) gamer interchangeably.
  • It is common for snipers to smoke weed to stabilize their aim[19].
  • Thinks that the American presence in the Iraq War is still ongoing[20].

Miscellaneous

  • Believes you can shoot and kill police officers out of self-defense. [source needed, he said it on youtube comments]
  • Believes that Nasheeds contain brainwashing bineural beats.
  • Believes that FM Radio transmitters can be used for brainwashing.

Conclusion

Note that while all of these things are clearly absurd, Jace feels personally attacked if you ever try to correct him on anything, and will defend the accuracy of these statements to his dying breath in the face of all evidence to the contrary. While most people have very strong beliefs in some issues, so much so that they automatically have a prejudice against people believing differently (politics, religion, etc.), Jace has this perspective on everything. He takes a position on matters, then finds ways to back it up and ignores all evidence for the opposing viewpoint. This is called a confirmation bias, and it's one of Jace's favorite means of "winning" an argument. Normally, an individual will learn information about the issue and from there decide how they feel about that issue. Jace does it the other way around and decides how he feels about something, then refuses to believe, understand, or even humor any evidence to the contrary.

Personality

File:Deagle.PNG
A crazed plastic gun toting Jace Connors in the midst of an adderall binge.

Although Jace Connors has a volatile temper and takes himself very seriously, he can be jovial and light-hearted when he himself is not the butt of the joke. His usual response to any adversity is to attempt to intimidate whoever is disagreeing with him using vague, carefully-worded threats. He thinks very highly of himself, but usually appears genuinely friendly to those who do not openly mock him. His sense of humor is that of an eight year old's. He is also incredibly gullible, a weakness that causes people to easily take advantage of him.

Perhaps the best word to sum up Jace's personality is "childish"; he never wishes to grow up, only leech off of others including his parents and Social Security in order to continue living in his carefully constructed fantasy land. His primary motivation seems to be only the purest form of unenlightened hedonism: to remain in a state of perpetual adolescence for as long as he can possibly get away with[21], despite the fact that he's already in his twenties. To this end, he is extremely threatened when someone questions his fantasy, and will lash out against anyone who does so with threats of violence.

Psychology

While his core personality has remained the same, over time Jace has shown himself to be highly unpredictable and fluid in his behavior. Environmental factors have obvious and profound impressions on his attitude, demeanor, tone of voice and speech patterns. Jace has shown a remarkable level of insecurity and willingness to "try on" different personas based on which he believe will give him an immediate advantage or empower him. This behavior is a normal, healthy part of psychological development in teenage years, where impressionable young men and women are trying to discern who they want to be in life, but it is somewhat questionable behavior for a 20-22 year old man. Jace's past personas include, in rough order of appearance:

As time goes on, Jace moves through these "personas" and gradually leaves them behind, but never seems to be fully willing to let them go; instead, they simply subsume as parts into the greater whole that is Jace. For example, as discussed in the Anime article, Jace still appreciates anime (albeit secretly, as it interferes with his newer dudebro image) and many of his flamboyant quotes are clearly inspired by anime. Similarly, he still possesses the major traits from the rest of his phases, including obsession with drugs and alcohol, the dudebro demeanor, the desire to play video games 24/7, and the delusional escapism of Jack Stryker.

Casual Liar

Jace frequently makes casual white lies, often very poorly; he'll say anything if he thinks it will increase his social status or make him appear badass and cool.

Some of his absurd claims include:

  • He has hunted deer using a fully automatic Uzi[22] submachine gun (despite the fact that, as experts from /k/ have pointed out, automatic variants are very expensive and rare)
  • His family is very wealthy. There has been no evidence to support this
  • Referring to himself as a "car customizing God"(video needed) despite the fact that, at the time, he drove a factory-condition Toyota Corolla.
  • He totaled his previous car in a "street racing accident." Trolls have speculated that it was merely a drunk-driving accident brought on by his intense alcoholism at the time. He has mentioned in passing that he "used to street race[23]."

Friends

Tyce Andrews (blonde man) posing with some of the members of Deagle Nation

Jace's main circle of friends seems to be underage teenagers he meets and "stunts" with at skate parks. Many of them stopped being his friends during the Civil War of Deagle Nation. Previously, his list of friends included people like Tyce (age: 16), Kyle, Brandon, and Colby. In the case of Kyle, he clearly only visits Jace when selling marijuana. Jace also has a good relationship with his older brother, Rob Connors, though he rarely sees him.

Jace often gets nostalgic for the good old days where he used to go "stunting" around town with a self-proclaimed street gang of Parkour gamers he led in high school: Deagle Nation. He has long been trying to resurrect these glory days by recruiting new members and get back in touch with old friends, but this has been unsuccessful: he often laments that most of his friends are "in college now and can't ever chill[24]"because naturally, peers his own age eventually outgrew the weed-smoking, XBox-playing teen hedonist lifestyle long ago. Despite being in his twenties, Jace still embraces this lifestyle wholeheartedly.

Jace also has a variety of online friends, 90% of whom are trolls who pretend to be friendly to him in order to laugh at him. The remaining 10% are members of Deagle Nation. Jace often boasts of his "connections" with CIADude420, an intelligence analyst of the Central Intelligence Agency.

Interests

File:Jace Facebook Likes.png
A small sampling of Jace's interests collected from his Facebook profile.

Jace seems to take interest in the military and everything tacticool out there. This may be solid proof of him being autistic since intense, narrow interests are a classic sign of autism. He is obsessed with fighting and various weapons (including knives and firearms)[25], martial arts, and fitness (mostly skateboarding and Parkour). However, he only posesses a kindergarten-level understanding of all of these. Jace seems content to put forth absolutely no effort in expanding his knowledge beyond playing Call of Duty and fantasizing.

Hobbies

  • Playing first person shooter video games (mostly military themed titles, such as Call of Duty and Counter-Strike)[26]
  • Hanging out with his stoner friends
  • Buying and using airsoft guns, including his toy Desert Eagle
  • Practicing an extremely crude form of Parkour[27]which amounts to simplistic cartwheels.
  • Partaking in various substances, usually while multitasking, which has led him into all sorts of trouble. After several months of sobriety, Jace fell back into his drinking habit in spring of 2013 after being flamed by trolls. He began attending a 12 Step Program in the spring of 2014[28] after an intervention staged by his mother and brother[29]. The impetus for this intervention was a series of drunken Vlogs which Jace had uploaded in the days prior[30].

Musical Tastes

As can be gleaned from his videos, tumblr, and Facebook (see photo on left), he mainly listens to hard rock bands such as Bon Jovi[31] Green Day and Nickelback; nu-metal, like Disturbed, Slipknot and Breaking Jenjamin. He is also a fan of Eminem[32], Skrillex[33] and Insane Clown Posse[34]. He is particularly fond of Drake's Started from the Bottom, to the point where he has included it in the custom music in Sims 3 and incorporated its lyrics into sim Stryker's death speech[35].

Online Activities

File:JaceDeagleMad.jpg
Jace attempts to intimidate the Internet with an airsoft gun. It doesn't work.

In order to help the reader understand the internet's visceral reaction to Jace, it's important to list some of the things he is known for. Using his accounts on a number of sites, Jace has pulled off many disturbing feats of autism on the Internet, a brief highlight reel of which are listed below:

  • Voluntarily "stood trial" against YouTube for his crimes against the internet (his words) on October 25, 2013. Immediately following this Trial, he fled from his house with his friend Tyce, convinced terrorists were coming to kill them. For the next hour, the two wandered around the woods, lost. It was later revealed that they were wandering in a 50ft2 section of woods bordered on all sides by suburbs. Yes, they got lost in that.
  • While high, convinced by trolls that he should pour laundry detergent into a gaping wound on his toe[36]. This wound was caused when he tripped and tore off his toenail while attempting to find an imaginary bomb in his house[37]. See The Toe Wound for more details.
  • Filmed himself driving under the influence of marijuana, on a public road, at high speed, in the middle of the day. Mere hours later, he voluntarily posted the video of it on YouTube and got his license suspended the next day after trolls called his local police department. Regardless, he still regularly drives without a license[38] and publicly admits to doing so on the Internet.
  • In March of 2014, the power went out at Jace's house. Immediately coming to the conclusion that this was part of a terrorist attack, Jace stole his mother's car and drove without a license to hide in the middle of the woods with a pair of plastic nightvision goggles for several hours until his mother called a police search to find him. After he was found, he was put on house arrest for driving without a license. See the Power Outage for more details.
  • Wasted an entire day attempting to track down a 16 year old child and murder him with an airsoft gun because the aforementioned 16 year old made fun of him on Twitter (twice).
  • During the Dark Souls Live Stream (Part II), Jace drank too much liquor while attempting to freestyle rap to an Eminem song. He proceeded to vomit all over himself in front of 40-50 stream viewers, before falling out of his chair and passing out on the floor. Fifteen minutes later, after an intense bout of murmuring cries for help, his mother came in, cleaned up the mess, turned off the computer and brought him to a hospital. During this fifteen-minute period, Jace's friend Tyce Andrews was convinced he should throw all of his weed and his cellphone into his fireplace to prevent tracking by terrorists and arrest for possession. As a result of the stream, Tyce got grounded for two weeks and Jace woke up in a hospital.
  • Wrote and self-published a borderline-unreadable "realistic war novel" called Tiberius Rising. Imagine Call of Duty meets Sonichu.
  • Bragged about how he spends his Social Security benefits on marijuana, while making fun of a dying, disabled man who could use that same money to save his life[39]. He then added, "Looks like I win, dude".
  • Filmed himself giving advice on how to get pussy[40]; high on his list of recommendations was "be aggressive" - right next to "drop some lines", such as "Damn, girl!" and "Your hair is cool or whatever."
  • Was convinced by Team Gamerfood to buy $100 worth of vegetable oil under the belief that it could be used to counteract nerve toxins flooding his town after a terrorist attack. He later drank several bottles of it while sleeping in his mother's Prius, and the resulting diarrhea went all over his car seat and pants. Of course, he tweeted all of this.
  • Got kicked out of his mom's house and slept in the woods under the delusion that doing this was somehow preventing a JDAM missile strike from hitting his town.
  • Immediately after the above, he livestreamed from his mother's Prius while it was in the driveway since he was still not allowed in the house. He powered his electronics using an extension cord that ran inside. Trolls later convinced him that Scarydeep was coming to kill him, so Jace drove out of his driveway while blasting "Highway to the Danger Zone" and headbanging, ending the stream as he violently ripped the extension cord out of it's socket. His mother physically chased him down the street yelling at him, at one point opening the car door to get him to stop, to no avail.

Trivia

  • Jace, ironically, is ineligible to join the Marines or own a gun after having been charged with a felony DWI in exchange for no jail time because he was too stupid to realize what being a felon entails.
  • Jace created a Mary Sue insert character called Jack Stryker, who represents a deluded and twisted fantasy version of himself where he is an elite soldier on a quest to rid the world of terrorists. The line between the true Jace and this "Jack" is so blurry that Jace occasionally slips up and refers to himself as "Jace Stryker" in videos[41], going as far to change his Facebook name to "Jace Stryker" at one point. Several times, Jace has directly admitted that "Jack Stryker" was either his ideal or future self[42].
  • He once publicly admitted to crossing state lines in possession of an ounce of marijuana, a felony crime[43].
  • His favorite catchphrase to deal with trolls is "You mess with the Bull, you get the Horns." Some backstory: his nickname in high school was "The Bull," gained after he spaz-tackled some guy who was making fun of him (just like in The Waterboy[44].
  • Jace uses his Bible pages to roll blunts when he is not learning about the Lord.
  • Trolls found a FurAffinity.net page which may belong to Jace[45]. If this account was proven to be legitimate, this would make Jace a furry.
  • He has a celebrity crush on professional wrestler John Cena[46]. See John Cena for more details.
  • According to the Dark Souls Live Stream, Jace wears his Flame Shades for two reasons: to disguise himself better from trolls, and because he is extremely sensitive to bright light. However, Tyce Andrews claims it is because Jace has a lazy eye and is trying to hide it[47]. The truth is unclear. See Flame Shades for details.
  • Jace has had girlfriend(s) before, but is currently single. By his own admission, he mainly sleeps with Juggalo sluts.
  • Claims anime is "gay shit for little kids" but has slipped up to reveal he has been watching anime and playing anime dating games, several times. (See Anime)
  • Jace has asthma[48], and used to be a braces-wearing[49] fan of RPGs like Final Fantasy[50].
  • Jace's power is believed to be derived from three ancient relics of autism: his toy gun, his Semper Fidelis knife, and of course his Flame Shades. See Relics of Fail for more details.
  • Just like Chris-chan, Jace showers on an "as needed" basis and his hairline suffers for it.

Notes

  1. This was calculated by Ivan Komarov, who used an identical door and the Simper Fidelis knife photo as a point of reference.

References

  1. Breakfast Blog: Laid off
  2. TESO Livestream, Part 2
  3. Breakfast Blog: Laid off
  4. VLOG-ust Day 13 "..." (@2:55) and the Hangover Vlogs, among others.
  5. [1]
  6. [2]
  7. ParkourDude91 Vlog: Terrorism and the Thearter Shooting
  8. [3]
  9. Calculations from Ivan Komarov: This is all based on Jacef.jpg. Using the edging around the door frame for deference since I have a door with the same edges, 2.5 inches = 100 pixels, one inch = 40 pixels, Jace = 2935 pixels high, 2935/40 = 73... Assuming my math isn't shit, Jace is about 6'1.
  10. Parkour Martial Arts: Gun Kick Disarm & X-Block Dual Disarm and Weekly Livestream 4, among others
  11. [4], screencap of deleted comments from this post on tumblr
  12. ParkourDude91 Vlog: Terrorism and the Thearter Shooting
  13. Sandy Hook, from The Torrent
  14. [5]
  15. [6]
  16. ROAD TRIP VIDS: Parkourdude goes to the Army Barracks (@6:15)
  17. ROAD TRIP VIDS: Parkourdude goes to the Army Barracks (@6:15)
  18. [7]
  19. [8] and Weekly Livestream 2
  20. WachtAmWeb: Iraq, Parkourdude91's war that is not so Jace's rebuttal in the comments is brief yet well-thought out: "Wow fuck you nerd. Vidio response inbound."
  21. Has oft professed his belief that the best things in life are chilling with friends, playing video games, and getting "blazed." See the Hangover Vlogs for a recent example.
  22. He has stated in the ROAD TRIP VIDS: Parkourdude goes to the Army Barracks that his brother Rob owns an uzi, complaining that Rob seldom lets him borrow it
  23. Road Trip Vids: Argument with my mom again
  24. Several times, including VLOG-ust Day 27 "LAN PARTY!!!" (@0:48) and the Hangover Vlogs
  25. VLOG-ust Day 16: BudK Unboxing, Day 17: My USMC Tactical Tomahawk/Combat Axe, and Road Trip Vids: Parkourdude goes to Army barracks!, among others
  26. VLOG-ust Day 25: My Gaming Gear, among others
  27. The Loadout Episode 1 (@2:56)) and MOV02A.wmv of The Torrent, among others
  28. Weekly Livestream 5
  29. Life Update
  30. Hangover Vlogs
  31. He sings "Wanted: Dead or Alive" in The Torrent, and used to have this song autoplay on his tumblr.
  32. Dark Souls Livestream Part 2
  33. Road Trip Vids: Dropping the bass with my mom and Skating with Juggalos
  34. Road Trip Vids: Skating With Juggalos and Juggalo
  35. Weekly Livestream 2 and Weekly Livestream 4.
  36. The Jace Connors Happy Funtime Sperg Hour! (UNCUT) (@1:08:56)
  37. The Jace Connors Happy Funtime Sperg Hour! (UNCUT) (@39:08)
  38. The Suburban Warfare videos are a recent example
  39. [9]
  40. ParkourDude91 Dating Advice
  41. ParkourDude91 Manifesto: The Hater Hitlist and the Weekly Livestreams (Livestream 2, Livestream 3, Livestream 4)
  42. TESO Livestream, Part 2, Weekly Livestream 3, and Weekly Livestream 4
  43. Road Trip Vids: Talking to CIADude at the hospital and in the comments.
  44. The Hunt Is On
  45. [10]
  46. list of all posts on his tumblr tagged with John Cena
  47. [11]
  48. Weekly Livestream 4
  49. Weekly Livestream 6
  50. Weekly Livestream 7